Fugs on Ice

Oh MY GOD, Oksana Baiul.

What is UP with you? One day, you’re dressed like a hooker in a particularly grim Law and Order episode , and today, you look like you woke up and wrapped yourself in a….damn, dude, I can’t even come up with a pithy metaphor for what this looks like. It’s like a Hefty bag married to a parachute crossed with a bean bag divided by a….GOD, I DON’T EVEN KNOW. I’m out. I’m out of words. I have no more words. If only I could skate my displeasure in a long program titled “Sweet God, What Is That Thing?” and set to a remake of the old Bel Biv DeVoe classic, “(That Dress Is) Poison.” That would about cover how I feel.