Fugs Aloud

So, I guess it was recently Cheryl Cole’s birthday. She’s in the Brit girl group Girls Aloud and is an X Factor judge and married to dreamy footballer (did I just use that term correctly? “Footballer,” I mean. I am quite confident in my use of the word “dreamy.”) Ashley Cole. And while I am generally of the belief that you should wear WHATEVER YOU WANT on your birthday, I didn’t exactly mean this:

[Photo: Splash News]

Um. Wow. Ashley looks so sharp, and Cheryl looks so… well, maybe I need to see it from another angle?

No. No, that is not any better. Well, I guess it’s better if you’re the costumer for an adult-themed figuring skating extravaganza titled Ice C-Ass-tles in which past-their-prime skaters perform a series of routines that explore just how cold, exactly, one’s extremities can get. For THAT purpose, it’s ideal.  And for the purpose of getting plenty of attention. It’s excellent for that. For looking like you’re the love child of a bordello and a birthday cake, it’s PERFECT. Tailor-made! No pun intended. But for a Wednesday night out? It’s skirting the fringes of good taste. See what I did there? With the “skirt” and the “fringe” and the….? Oh, leave me alone. You couldn’t have resisted that pun either.