Fug’s Just Not That Into You

Great, Jen. Here we go again:

It’s black! It’s kind of boring! It makes no unexpected statements! In short, it’s the Magic 8-Ball of outfits!

You know you’re stuck in a Grand Canyon-sized rut when it’s a refreshing red-carpet change to see your hair in a ponytail. Seriously, I’m sure they’d both loathe to hear it, but Jennifer is really not all that different from her archrival Angelina. Neither hems her suit-pants. Both tend to do only one thing or the other with their hair. The sight of either of them in a color generally incites us to wonder if we slipped and hit our heads on the margarita machine. Now, given that Angelina just wore a blue dress backwards to the SAGs, I’m sure she’d react to this assertion of mine by marching up to the nearest photographer, drinking a pint of blood, throwing a knife at a fencepost, and then getting knocked up on the spot while signing the paperwork to adopt a small clan of misunderstood yetis who just want to experience the unique joys of body waxing. But one dress is just an aberration. Until the leopard changes its stripes — or perhaps more to the point, changes INTO stripes — I’m sticking with my assertion that they’re basically thematic wardrobe twins. Maybe Brad DOES have a type.