Fugsica Simpson

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

JESSICA: Ugh.

TONY: What’s up, babe?

JESSICA: Yuck.

TONY: Speak up, babe.

JESSICA: Everything always seems like such a good idea when I’m at home.

TONY: Word, babe.

JESSICA: And now that I’m out, and there are photographers, like, of COURSE I feel like this stupid dress makes me look like a giant sofa cushion from that furniture sitting on Aunt Edna’s lanai in Palm Beach.

TONY: Too true, babe.

JESSICA: And I… wait, what?

TONY: I hear you, babe.

JESSICA: You don’t. You’re just saying stuff. You’re not even listening to my pain. WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO MY PAIN?

TONY: Dude, babe.

JESSICA: I hate today.