Fugstin Cavallarfug

I have to say, even though you guys know I love drama, I can’t muster up any enthusiasm for Kristin Cavallari being back on The Hills. If you’re going to give a ton of interviews all about how you’re just stirring up shit for the sake of the show, then it makes me totally uninterested in watching it — like, at least with Spencer and Heidi, even as we sit through them pretending to go to couples therapy, they are actually married so there’s always the hope she will throw a shoe at his nose and punch him in the douchebag and then walk out on him for good. And no matter what contrived situations exist to throw Heidi and Lauren into the same orbit, the hatred between her and Spencer is legit. But I just don’t CARE about K.Cav swanning in there and dating people just because it will make a good act-out, like, say, riding off with Justin Bobby on his motorcycle so that we get a shot of Audrina staring off after them but not quite making actual eye contact with anything. Snore.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, let’s see what Kristin has put on hers. (Nice transition, eh?)

That thing is, like, two parts Tara Reid, and one part something a Williams sister is considering wearing to play tennis. It’s got that special blend of impracticality and glitz that half the ladies’ tour so cherishes these days. I’m all for cute workout clothes, but when your clothes feasibly could work or either kind of service — the bottle OR ace variety — then mayhap you have taken it too far. The U.S. Open is not played in Taradise, folks. Let’s not try to clothe the world as if it is.