Fugstina Moore

Not all that long ago, I saw Christina Moore at the ArcLight Sherman Oaks, eating dinner — and I am embarrassed to say I recognized her because she played (plays?) Drunkface’s mother on the new 90210. Although she hasn’t been on in a while, so maybe she either watched the episodes and screamed, or figured out quickly they weren’t going to let her make out with Rob Estes, and subsequently jumped ship.

However, I wish I could have back that night. Because though my M.O. is never to approach celebrities unless I am tipsy and they were on the REAL 90210 at some point (we suspect Lindsay Price still laughs in horror about that time at Fashion Week), I might have reconsidered it in Christina’s case. Because then I could have warned her.

Just think — I could have said, “Christina, look. You seem nice. You’re very pretty. You need to teach Drunkface that faking half a seizure every time she talks is not the same thing as emoting. Then you need to run as far away from that awful train wreck as your legs can carry you — but when you do this, do not run straight into the embrace of a strapless denim romper. If you ignore that piece of advice, you will one day show up at a Maxim Hot 100 party looking like you shop at Limited Too, and while we all know lying about one’s age is de rigeur in Hollywood, lying that you are 12 and headed to your very first school dance is pushing it.”

Oh well, Sorry, Christina. Regrets, I’ve had a few.