Fugventures of a Fugaholic

So, I never really had an issue with Isla Fisher until I read a recent interview with her in Page Six Magazine, where she noted that all of the fancy outfits she buys and doesn’t wear go to an 8-year old, and then she says, “I’m embarrassed I’m so small.”

Okay. No, you’re not. In Hollywood, saying you’re “embarrassed” by your petite-itude is like saying, “It’s humiliating to be this rich,” or, “my incredible beauty is so awkward.” If you were really embarrassed by it — which is certainly possible, as plenty of small women stress about trying to gain weight — you would NEVER ACTUALLY TELL THAT STORY. “I’m so small, I have to give my designer cast-offs to CHILDREN.” I’m sure. It’s like the way I am FORCED to light my CIGARS with HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS. Nor would you tell PSM your height and clothing size (five three, and — of course — size zero. Allegedly). You would not talk about it to the media in the first place, if it were something that actually bothered you. You only talk about it if it’s something you’re secretly dying to share, but then you couch it self-deprecatingly because you know you’ll sound like an asshole otherwise. Well, I have something I’m dying to share: