Fugx McCord

I am totally the wrong fugger to be writing about Alex McCord, since I don’t watch the Real Housewives shows — yes, that’s right, I cherish Tool Academy from the bottom of my soul, but somehow the mere idea of the various Housewives soaps gives me hives. But I did read that Alex McCord and her husband are in the midst of redecorating their townhouse, or something? Listen, I don’t know that I would trust this woman to decorate anything ONCE, much less do it again:

I mean, okay: She’s decorated her arm with Aiden Turner, who is a cute Irish soap actor currently on All My Children, where he’s in love with a mental patient who once killed her brother and most of whose past love interests are either dead, “dead,” or have left the show. So McCord gets points for the man candy. If she’d JUST taken a little more time in adorning herself… I’m sure this is just a drab black dress and a medically necessary stomach sweater, to prevent her tragic case of Abnormally Freezing Abdomen Syndrome from flaring up at the middle of the party. But it sure LOOKS like she is wearing a sweater tube-top over a mangy tutu, and Turner got caught making out behind that rack of skirts, which is why it’s peeled down to expose her flimsy strapless support garment. I’m not sure which is better: On the one hand, you get a terrifically soapy medical scenario which could end in a revolutionary ab-transplant surgery; on the other, DRAMA. Unfortunately for her, this outfit is involved in both, though, so I guess there’s no winning.