Fugyl Cole

May 10, 2010 By Heather AT 1:00 pm

Cheryl Cole — tragic soon-to-be-ex-WAG of alleged man-slut footballer Ashley Cole, X-Factor judge, member of Girls Aloud, Style Network’s best-dressed woman of the decade, and newly minted solo artist opening in the UK for the Black-Eyed Peas — has said she’d like to duet with Fergie. And I think her wardrobe during her sets for the Peas’ tour is basically an attempt to prove to Fergie that they’re kindred spirits. Observe:

[Photos: Splash News]

Staff Sgt. Fancy Bojangles up there reminds me of a hybrid of this and this, with a dash of the sparkly authoritarian attitude displayed here. In many ways I’m surprised Fergie hasn’t been spied wearing this to brunch, or the gym, or on post-infidelity-rumor “Don’t Worry, America, I’ve Got His Junk In A Jar On My Bathroom Shelf” outings with her hubby.
This outfit, of course, devolved into this:

And then this:
Both of which owe a debt to this, and the latter of which is clearly what Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan would wear to do a Jane Fonda workout tape, if indeed ACCDR believed in such crass common behavior as jumping, or breaking a sweat in any venue not draped in satin sheets. So you can imagine why I’m now desperate for Fergie to grant Cheryl her wish of a duet. Can you IMAGINE the video? COME ON, Universe. Pay us back for giving us things like The Real Jersey Shore of The Hills, and Justin Bieber.
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