FUUG

Judging from this look, I can only IMAGINE what the next issue of GOOP is going to be about:

I hope it’s titled, “How To Nourish Your Inner 80s” and includes the following:

1. A hacky joke about how Gywnnie means the 1980s and not your inner old lady, although I must confess that my inner old lady is well-nourished indeed. I spent LOTS of time spying on my neighbors and tell the same stories over and over again, usually about how in MY day, if you wanted to talk to someone, you had to CALL THEM ON THE PHONE and if they weren’t home, you just HAD TO CALL BACK.
2. A special guest appearance from Gywneth’s best dear friend who is also an 80s icon and who knows a thing or two about tight jeans, Steve “Steven” Perry.
3. A photoshoot where Gwynnie models things like this blazer and these jeans, as well as a vintage Hypercolor tee shirt, and a variety of ensembles made from neoprene, all of which cost over $1000 but are positioned as “a steal!”
4. An off-hand mention of how Gwynnie realized the 80s were back one morning during a conversation she had with Frédéric Fekkai while he was giving her a blow-out in the garden of this little shack she has in the south of France. Tres bien!
5. Oh, Gywneth. I really do love you. Don’t ever change!
6. I mean that METAPHORICALLY. Feel free to change this particular outfit if you want.