Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Mia Maestro

Obviously, the benefits to Mia Maestro’s dress are multifold:

a) She doesn’t need to carry a bag, as she can store an entire shopping bag’s worth of paraphernalia in any one of her poofy layers

b) She will never suffer from the dreaded Numb Butt so often associated with events where you are required to sit for hours and hours, as her many poofy layers will act as a comfy cushion for her delicate behind

c) She can easily use one of those top layer flaps as a napkin, should she lose one. This is always convenient at a cocktail party, when you find yourself holding a giant prawn on a skewer in one hand and two glasses of champy in the other. If your napkins are attached to your boobs, that problem is solved.

d) Bloated? No problem!

e) Pregnant? No one will ever know!

f) Smuggling an Olsen? It’ll just be your little secret.