Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Sienna Miller

While it pains us to admit that we rather like Sienna Miller’s dress — the bodice looks like it’s been painted with the kind of gold leaf used on expensive chocolates, which is actually a compliment, because we have never met an expensive chocolate we didn’t adore — we are really not terribly fond of her sloppy milkmaid-who-just-rolled-in-the-mountain-glen-with-a-randy-goatherd coif. We’re all for clandestine trysts, but alpine afterglow isn’t perhaps the most ideal red-carpet fashion statement.

Unless she’s trying to communicate slyly that if you have something to be milked, her skilled fists can take care of it. If that’s the massage — oops, er, I mean message — then, well, she’ll be the most popular wench at the barn.