In related news, Will Arnett is a popular Fug Nation front-runner for my eventual all-night live Soothing Voice Speak-Off, in which celebrities basically get up and talk and we decide which one is the person we need narrating our lives to us for the rest of eternity. It's going to be long -- we've got both Sutherlands, Morgan Freeman, Will here, a push for Alan Rickman, a surprisingly strong showing for Benedict Cumberbatch... it's going to turn into a telethon, I think. It's going to get REAL and long and we will totally need charitable sponsors and lots of celebs with un-soothing voices (Fran Drescher, Lisa Simpson, Rosie Perez, Mark Wahlberg, Harvey Fierstein, anyone who has ever shilled for 1-800-DENTIST) working the phone banks. Sorry, guys, it's not that we don't like you; we just need you keeping callers awake, not lulling them into the warm womb of your vocal trance.
|Who Called Justin Bieber An A**hole? – Huffington Post|
|Which Actor Fell Asleep During Live TV Interview? – FOX News|
|Brad Pitt Won't Do Any More Sex Scenes – FOX News|
|Jennifer Aniston Is Now A Stripper – Huffington Post|
|Is This Really The Most Beautiful Woman In The World? – Huffington Post|
|Kim Kardashian's Pregnancy Scare – FOX News|