Golden Globes Terror Watch Carpet: Sting

This was Colin’s expression as Sting walked out on stage to present Worst Attempt At Successfully Shaving One’s Neck to himself, or whatever it was he was presenting. Colin is SO CLEARLY unable to continue to enthusiastically applaud for Sting, SO STUNNED is he by the fact that Sting now looks like someone who has just spent six weeks building a woodshed from mud and hay with nary a break. STING. HOT TANTRIC SEX STING. Doesn’t Sting realize that he is probably Colin Farrell’s idol, what with all his tales of endless, yoga-fueled nookie? WON’T STING THINK OF COLIN FARRELL? AND ME? WHAT ABOUT ME? ALSO THE CHILDREN. THINK OF THEM, STING. And then shave.