A while back, Jennifer Love Hewitt spent a lot of time trying to convince people she was a rock star. We weren’t fooled, nor were we interested. It didn’t work.
Indeed, in the days thereafter and continuing through the present, the only press thrown J.Lo.Hew’s way came/comes when she says something self-deprecating about her boob size. Which she started doing a lot.
You can whiff a bit of that desperation in her Grammy ensemble from 2004:
Her chest is very half-heartedly propped up by the peekaboo top, her thigh is presented to us like a Thanksgiving Day drumstick, and the whole thing looks a little bit like it was originally designed as a hybrid bikini/lounging dress for Kelly Taylor on Beverly Hills, 90210: The Beach Seasons. Indeed, if the Peach Pit After Dark ever opened a beach outpost, this is how the cocktail waitresses would dress.
Which is a shame for Ms. Lo.Hew, because as the number of stalled careers she’s had begins to mount, it’s probably best not to remind the world how well she’d do at the Grammys in 2005… as an after-party drinks server.
Comments (56):
She is a pretty sad little girl.
Her attempts at being sexy over the years have been very
entertaining but she needs to find a new hobby.
Oh, poor dear.
Is she trying to pose, here? I’m baffled.
Oh my Maude. Clear shoes. My mom had a pair in 1983.
It was that jackie chan movie she did that finished her off. Her dress and bangs are so 1999. It’s heartbreaking.
it looks like she’s in a towel, just after the shower or skinny dipping in a pool. She looks a bit pasty too. The red is too dark for her. And the shoes remind me of those jelly sandals one would wear to the beach. Ick, where do you get these pics?
Jennifer “Look at my boobs” Hewitt is back. This poor serial dater has stepped right into has-been land. I think she’d better find out what she did last summer.
Sweet honey nut Jesus! Out of the shower, into the clear shoes, and onto the red carpet.
Celebrity is a cruel bitch, Jen, but we can try to assuage that with actually dressing for events. Woof!
even when she fugs she’s boring.
Jennifer, Audrey Hepburn would never have worn anything like this. Then again, Audrey also wouldn’t have made Garfield or The Tuxedo. Even Carson Daly is embarassed right now.
Whoa. That dress starts entirely too far below her collarbone. This is a malady of both strapless dresses by nature and where one’s breasts happen to be situated, but the basic effect is that her breasts appear abnormally close to her waist, and her entire upper body in the dress seems to be doing a mudslide maneuver toward her feet. I suppose the short length of dress saved her tailoring it away from her shoes, but now it looks like a beach towel. The whole operation’s a shambles…
Why does she always do that annoying thing with her feet? Guess we should just be thankful that she no loner poses looking over her shoulder…
longer…that should have said ‘no longer’
i hate the way her dress is migrating down her boobs like that. she is dangerously close to the brink of exposure and she looks so uncomfortable its actually making me physically uncomfortable for her.
Didn’t “Let’s Go Bang” win any Grammy’s?
Oh lor’ bless ‘er, the CLEAR STRIPPER SHOE! Why does this keep popping up on B- and C-list stars? Do you know what this shoe says to the world? “I may star in shitty movies during the daytime, but at night I sling griddlecakes at Waffle House.” THAT’S WHAT IT SAYS.
Clear shoes. Oh, god…clear shoes! Do they still MAKE these?!
I’m almost willing to overlook those “glass slippers” shes rocking. Because: did you see those bangs??
Shes looking rather haggard these days. And to think, I used to think she was kinda pretty…
I think shes really got that ‘busted figure skater’ thing down. If Nancy Kerrigan had a saggy-boobed younger sister, I imagine this is what she looks like. Its like shes planning to audition for some sort of “Disney On Ice” production. I mean, Mulan *does* need to have singing abilities, after all, and that certainly makes Love qualified for the job…
I’ll say it again. Nothing good can come of this….
It could be my PC, but is there a tan line at the top of her thigh? And she’s developing quadraboob. What a mess.
Go and look at some past events she’s attended — she strikes that exact same pose – is it 4th position? — can’t remember ballet was a while ago. The pretense of standing like that has annoyed me from the first instance.
What a has-been, if ever was.
You know, the other thing about this tragic pose is that she reminds one of that Seinfeld episode where there is a tap dancer who doesn’t move her arms (or was that a person who didn’t swing their arms when walking….can’t quite remember..) and it was just hysterical because it looked so WRONG. She looks like her arms are stuck down by her sides. Of course that is probably to arrest the dangerous downward trend of the dress but still…
remember when she was the IT girl for MTV videos? Actually, I CAN get enough of her, baby.
Damn! I totally forgot about her pseudo music career…and now its all coming back to me! She should use one of her shoes as a crystal ‘ball’ and look into her bleak future in entertainment. Good for us, sucks for her.
Clear heels? Was there a shoe sale at the stripper store?
That dress looks like something Debbie Harry rejected in 1980 for being simultaneously “too mainstream” and “too slutty.”
There is no excuse for saggy boobs.
I liked her “Kids, Incorporated” outfits better. They were less tacky…
Give her a break, boys and girls. Don’t you know how hard it is to find a dress with a built-in c___
ring these days? Sheesh.
I once wore clear shoes to a wedding in which I was a bridesmaid because I was mad at the bride. These shoes are WMD.
I can see her Peach Pit.
Is it just me or is there something terribly wrong with her face? It’s like Jay Leno had a kid and she’s anorexic.
“her thigh is presented to us like a Thanksgiving Day drumstick”
Thank you Heather.
I’ll be chuckling every time I cook a chicken from now on.
I’ll tell you what’s wrong with her face:
SHE’S BEEN BLASTED WITH JOKER GAS!
Is it me, or does her leg look bloated? What is it with celebrities nowadays, on top of looking like crap, they don’t wear any jewelry???
Oh, poor Love —
You just know what she’s thinking:
“Let’s see, Neeve made that ballet movie with Robert Altman; Scott’s on Everwood, and Matt is on LOST! LOST! The time is right for former Party of Fiver’s to stage a comeback! O.K. World — Get ready for some Love -ing!”
Problem is all of the aforementioned actors actually have some talent — something JLH forgot to take into account.
Gah! You’d think someone as aware as she is of how big and low her boobs are would know that strapless dresses + big boobs = NO.
I always think of that as her “I really have to pee” pose.
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong with her face:
SHE’S BEEN BLASTED WITH JOKER GAS!”
That is one of the funniest comments I have ever read on this blog. That’s EXACTLY what she looks like. Also I really like the way her arms are held super-close to her body, as if they’re the only things actually supporting the dress.
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JLH is looking like the younger sister of the mom from Malcolm In the Middle…..
I think we should take up a collection to get her to legally change her name to “Jennifer Fug Hewitt”.
She’s showing way too much pasty skin. It’s…embarrassing.
4th position..thats hilarious. She does seem to be standing in a silly balletish pose. Maybe she thinks someone will confuse her with Neve Campbell?
So why all the picking on 90210? I think Kelly I’ve been (raped, burned, shot, dumped, addicted to drugs, sleeping with a coke head artist, raised by an alcoholic, stalked by my brother, joined a cult, ____insert other unfortunate event here) Taylor should be immune to all fugs and fug references. Just one girls opinion! I mean gosh…he didn’t even put down a blanket..*sniff, sniff**!
I remember liking her hair style….back when Harry Potter was sporting it.
Oh my god, we are TOTALLY not picking on 90210. WE LOVE 90210. But Kelly would have worn that to the beach club. It was 1992! She didn’t know better!
The Fug Girls ADORE 90210.
Oh, wow…
Brtiney would just loooove this dress. Which she would then proceed to wear as a maternity dress.
J. Love Hew looked so amazingly hot in “Heartbreakers” that she did with Sigourney Weaver a few years back.
What happened?!?
“remember when she was the IT girl for MTV videos?” God, that was so the worst week of my life.
What’s the big deal with her boobs anyway? They’re not that big and never were…someone told her about padded push-ups that led to her minor fame back in the day.
Thankfully, that day has long passed. Take a bow JLH…your act is over.
She really hasn’t taken her bungee bangs off in like 3 years.
When I first saw that pic I thought, “What the Aitch happened to Victoria Principal?”
I would like to see her get Punk’d or be on the next season of Surreal Life. Then maybe she’ll drop the sweet girl image and her matching prissy outfits. Instead we’ll get to see her scream at the salesperson at la Perla about how she didn’t try to shoplift all those bras, or wasted in the hot tub with her tongue in Pauly Shore’s mouth. I’d watch THAT!
Beetster….Surreal Life may be more like it. She’d have to be at least a B-List celeb to get onto Punk’d.
Okay … I guess I’ll let my contrarian ways prevail and just say it isn’t THAT horrible. I mean, we’re not talking Chloe Sevigny horrible. There’s just something … i don’t know … “cute” about her. I mean, she’s like that really clueless hot chick in the dorm that you waste 2 years trying to get drunk enough to let you have a go. She definately needs a new act, but I’m inclined to give the poor girl a break because she at least seems to be a sweet girl.
The word “compote” springs to mind when eyeing this pic. A pallid pear compote in oozy red sauce.
Her head looks like one of those walking wind up chattering teeth things. You know that right after this pic was taken, her jaw clattered out of control…clackclackclackclackclack
“SHE’S BEEN BLASTED WITH JOKER GAS!”
You are so right on! She annoyed me on Kids, Inc. and she still annoys me now with her crazy squinty eyed maniacal grin. She was probably my first fug i guess and you know what they say, the first one is always special.
“Brtiney would just loooove this dress. Which she would then proceed to wear as a maternity dress.”
Smarterthanilook, you got me all excited now. It never occured to me the maternity fug that is in store for us when Britney finally gets knocked up! I can just see her wandering out of a public restroom barefoot, (maternity bra patrially exposed of course) with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, a baby in one arm and a bag of cheetos in the other. I count the days…
OMG, that is….
*hides under the bed*