Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Bai Ling

Sweet, sweet Bai Ling. After all that relatively staid formal wear, THIS is more like it:

For, see, you ARE a gift. You are the proverbial enigma filled with a mystery dipped in a candy-coated puzzle, topped with a shredded pile of Care Bears, drizzled in melted My Little Pony toys, and then all wrapped up in a giant ribbon hanging over your privates as though they are the Lexus that mysteriously appeared in front of your house in Christmas morning. Never leave me.