Grammy Awards Pre-Fug and Telecast Fug: Ke$ha


I’m not sure why the universe wants me to care about Justin Bieber, but I do — just not in the way it thinks.

My interest in him is limited ONLY to being concerned about how young and vulnerable he looks standing next to someone who looks like she was plucked out of a dumpster, spritzed with Lysol, and cast in Saturday Nightstick Fever: The Tonya Harding Gillooly Story.
It must be in Ke$ha’s contract that she’s to look as squinty and psychotic as possible at all times:

Oh, child. This is nothing we haven’t seen before. It’s Gaga + Ashley Tisdale + Ali Larter, with a dash of Sarah Chalke, a drop of Eau de Paris Hilton, and a guest appearance by a tuning fork that was found in the rubble of the Xanadu set. All you’ve got is some punctuation that requires me to hit Shift before I punch the 4 key. Guess what? I already use Shift multiple times a day. Big f’ing deal, kid.
Love,
He@ther
P.S. Your song is catchy and I wish it weren’t, dammit.
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