When I was in college, in approximately 1995, I was obsessed with Ralph Fiennes. Obsessed. Madly in love with. (Thanks to Quiz Show, not Schindler’s List. Always choose the hot cheater over the hot Nazi.) If the internet had existed then the way it does right now, I would have been the webmistress of Go Fiennes Yourself.com and it would have been the greatest collection of Fiennes information, photos, gossip, and video to be put to pixels. It would have been extreme. It would have taken over my life. As it was, I simply had the most massive shrine to him up on the wall of my closet. There were obscure photos that my friend Katherine and I got by actually GOING INTO THE MICROFICHE at UCLA’s massive research library to find. I literally did more library research on Ralph Fiennes than I ever did on any other subject in college (in fairness, as an English major, I wasn’t required to do research as much as I was required to Read Things and then Think Deeply About Themes and Symbols, so that one day at the library sounds more impressive than in fact it was). It was an extensive collection of rare and hot Fiennesiannia and it made me realize that a great way to teach kids about all the wonderful resources to be had at your library would be to assign them to find all kinds of dreamy photos of the celebrity with which they are currently obsessed. Learning can be fun! And so, today, on the…er, one-week anniversary of the release of the final Harry Potter movie (what? I was out of town last Friday), what better time to take a look back in time at the Hotness, past and present, of El Fiennes? It’s like I’m recreating my shrine! Please join me.
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