I Really, Really, REALLY Wanna Zig-Ah-Zig-Fug

[Photo: Splash News]

SCARY: Listen, I just want you all to know that if a tango threatens to break out, I’m here for you.

BABY: I’m just here being cute! It’s what I do!

SPORTY: Alexis Colby, reporting for duty. I WANT THOSE OIL LEASES.

GINGER: I wish they still made Skating With Celebrities. Although, I  just had a marvelous idea. Think of it: Spice On Ice!

POSH: These people disappoint me. Why WEAR the dress when you can tie it to yourself?

SCARY: How about Dancing With The Spice On Ice? Oh, wait, my paso doble would MELT THE JOINT.

BABY: Hey Sporty, can I play Krystal in this scene? Or Amanda? Can I? I love you! I just want us to hug.

SPORTY: Do what I say, Baby, or I’ll fire you and replace you with a band member that will. I hate you, BLAKE. Make love to me, DEX.  You’re mine in the boardroom AND the bedroom.

GINGER: I am a little frightened standing between these two, I’m not gonna lie. Especially if Sporty is itching for a catfight.

POSH: Seriously, WHAT is the point of supporting a lingerie store and its bloody expensive stuff if no one’s going to see it in public? SIGH. Nobody understands. I’m five years ahead of all these bimbos.

SCARY: I wonder if this tour is going to be a bad idea. What if I win my dancing show? What if the world needs to see more of me doing the rumba instead of explaining what to do if you wanna be my lover?

BABY: Oh, don’t leave us, Mel, I love you! You’re so pretty! Here, take Sporty, she’ll beat some sense into you! Lovingly!

SPORTY: You’re nothing but a second-rate lounge act, Dominique! King Galen, every time you come into my life something awful happens. Krystle, I can’t wait to see you leave here with the same cheap plastic suitcases you came in carrying. YOU KNOW THE WAY OUT.

GINGER: Does anyone know what’s going on? God, leaving looks pretty smart now. Was I dumb to come back to this thing?

POSH: Bollocks to these boring glittery idiots. I give up. But if anyone wants to make Pretty In Pink 2, call me. It’ll be may-jah.