I’m A Celebrity, Fug Me Out Of Here!

I love British celebrities. Specifically, the so-called glamour models like Jordan, who is Britain’s sartorial equivalent to Lil’ Kim — proprietous, careful, not at all interested in giving us a living illustration of her birth canal:

She appears to be making some sort of maternity-as-straitjacket statement; that, or during her time on I’m A Celebrity…, she mastered the at of MacGyvering some clothes out of whatever you can steal from somebody else’s tent.

It’s lovely to see that being pregnant hasn’t stopped Jordan from defaulting to “nearly naked.” I think I can see the baby’s head crowning. Get back inside, pal! You think it’s scary up there? I’ve got news for you.