Independent Spirit Awards Fug Carpet: Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger

HEATH: If we weren’t allegedly in a giant fight and not speaking to each other, I’d tell you that I like your new Rosemary’s Baby look. It’s hard to pull off that haircut, but you look cute.

MICHELLE: If I were talking to you, I’d ask you why you look homeless. I’m not the only person who needed a haircut.

HEATH: Damn, can’t you just say, “Thank you for the compliment, I’m thrilled that I can work the Mia Farrow, too”?

MICHELLE:  Are those your shirt-tails hanging out under your jacket?

HEATH: I don’t know. Maybe.

MICHELLE: God. Gross.

HEATH: I’m being CASUAL and INDEPENDENT at the Independent Spirit Awards. IT’S IN THE NAME.

MICHELLE: Really? I didn’t know they changed it to the Independent Dirty Awards.

HEATH: That joke sucked.

MICHELLE: You suck. If I got to choose between going home to Brooklyn with you, and going home to a really fantastic apartment in the Dakota that just happens to be next door to a couple of elderly Satan worshippers with whom my husband will broker a deal in which I end up bearing the Antichrist in exchange for his professional success, I WOULD TAKE THE SATAN BABY.

HEATH: I’m going to sell YOU to Satan.

MICHELLE: You’re certainly dressed like you just got back from Hell.

HEATH: Burn.

MICHELLE: Exactly.