Iron Fug 2

As I waded through the magazine graveyard on my coffee table, I came across the Entertainment Weekly that has the cast of Iron Man 2 on the cover and thought, “Damn, ScarJo looks really kind of hot with the dark red hair and that makeup. Well done, her.”

And then:

The individual elements are not awful, necessarily, but the sum of the parts equals Infinite Blah (which, coincidentally, could be the title of a thesis analyzing Scarlett’s movie performances, and yes, I do include Lost In Translation; I am apparently the only person in the world who thought that movie was as interesting as watching a placemat for signs of intelligence). For starters, ScarJo looks more like a bad wax replica of herself: overly shiny, awkwardly posed, and just off, possibly because the blurry-eyed sculptor picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. But the top of the dress rubs me the wrong way, too — it evokes a very elaborate support garment that’s never meant to see the light of day except at a Sears catalog shoot, and I don’t think it fits her as well as she thinks it does. I don’t know, somehow the whole feh-ness of this ensemble makes me dislike it even more strongly than if it had been made of, say, linoleum and a My Little Pony.

Although, let’s face it, you totally want to see THAT outfit.  I’m sure Lady Gaga will wear it jogging in a week.