Logie’s Fug Carpet Omnibus

So, this weekend, the Logies were held in Australia. If I understand it correctly, the Logies are sort of like if the Emmys had a baby with the People’s Choice Awards: they’re all TV-based, and the public votes, but it seems more prestigious than the People’s Choice Awards? I’m sure if I’m wrong, one of our lovely Aussie readers will set me straight.  Many of those readers, in fact, emailed us to make sure we took a look at the red carpet from the Logies and…yes. You were correct that we needed to do that. 

With no further ado:

Oh, Carson. You are magical. Never change. Someone who ought to have changed, though, is this young lady:

Margot Robbie here plays Donna Freedman on Neighbors — if Wikipedia is to believed, her character is a unstable bisexual stalker who once stole a police car and ran over some people and then blamed it on someone else and may have also started a terrible brushfire — and she apparently plays a saucy cocktail waitress at a Western-themed bar in real life. Hard to say which of those I’d rather see play out more.

And then there’s Sonia “No Relation to Diane” Kruger:

It seems that she hosts the Australian version of Dancing with the Stars, but — MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY — also played Tina Sparkle in Strictly Ballroom, which is possibly still my favorite of the Baz Luhrmann oevre. I don’t entirely remember Tina Sparkle, but I do remember that she was very, very, very tan and extremely dismissive of said film’s ugly ducking heroine and therefore rather hilarious. I was going to make some snide comment about how this dress is a little too much look but I decided that now I love her and I don’t want to. Also, she’s 42 and she looks about ten years younger, so good on you, Sonia and don’t get that train caught in the car door.

Also in danger of getting her skirt caught on any number of things:

Nadine Garner*, who has appeared in many things I haven’t heard of, including a musical called Bad Boy Johnny and the Prophets of Doom, which originally starred Russell Crowe and once incited rage among both a bunch of nuns and Opus Dei thanks to the fact that its story points involve a tv show called “The Vatican Tonite” and an American Idol-esque program in which the public votes for the Pope. Also, rape and murder. So clearly she’s accustomed to making controversial choices, which would explain why she’s dressed like she’s starring in a student production of Swan Lake in which the traditional story has been married to a retelling of Step Up 2: The Streets.

*I have been informed that this is actually Nadia Townsend. But she has no Wikipedia page, and therefore I do not believe that she exists.

Another controversial choice came from Tracy Grimshaw, who, it appears, is a well-known morning chat show host: