“Hello, everyone.”

“Well, this whole Lovelace thing didn’t go as I expected. Reviews aren’t great. I’m not going to win an Oscar for it, so I can’t fulfill my fantasy of ramming one up Hathaway’s nose. So this outfit is a little something I like to call Changing The Subject. Or possibly, Being Bored Now That It’s Out And No One Is Excited About It But I Still Have To Promote It. It’s a dress I would wear to Mass, if I were a member of the Church of the Freaky Shower Curtain Romper of Latter Day Brothels. Just try to find words for it, and I promise you, by the time you’re done you’ll forget what I was doing here in the first place and just think, ‘Boy, she was cute in Mean Girls.’ Thanks in advance.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]