Machetfuge

I really WANT to like this. I am TRYING to like this. I am ENDEAVORING to like this:

But oftentimes when I am writing these posts, I think about what I would say to a friend if she emerged from a dressing room wearing whatever I’m writing about. And I cannot foresee an instance in which one of my girlfriends came out wearing this and I did NOT make my nose-crinkly, “EW, no! I love you, but what else have you got?” face. So, Jessica: Ew, no. I….tolerate you, but what else have you got?