Mad Fug

I don’t know why I thought being a cocktail waitress would be so amazing, but I suspect it was a combination of get-ups like this and the influence of that show It’s A Living, which I loved as a child, but my mother didn’t let me watch because it was “too adult.” Put an apron on J-Squared here and she looks just like the cocktail waitresses who used to bring me endless Shirley Temples at North Woods Inn . That is not entirely a slam (unless you didn’t want to look like a cocktail waitress, in which case: sorry). I really loved the outfits on the cocktail waitresses at North Woods Inn, along with the fake snow on the roof, the peanuts on the floor and the fact that it was essentially decorated the way you’d imagine Disney would tackle a whorehouse. Also, everything served there is covered in fat. In fact, I really want some of their garlic bread right now. Damn you, January Jones! My cholesterol just went up ten points thanks to the power of suggestion. Bring me a Shirley Temple, and keep ‘em coming, and maybe I will be able to forgive you.