Million Fug Baby

Okaaaaaay:

I have been rendered (temporarily) speechless right here.  This is like some kind of bizarre bare-midriff compromise, like Hilary really REALLY wanted to wear a skirt and a bikini top, and Mr. Armani was like, “Hmmm. That is an INTERESTING idea. You are clearly…inspired. Yes. That’s what we will call you. Inspired. Why don’t we save that for some other time?” And Hilary was like, “NO! We are only on year six of my Ten Year Hilary Swank: SHE SO GIRLY Master Plan. BIKINI TOP! BIKINI TOP!” And Mr. Armani was like, “God, drama queen, okay. Settle down. Can I distract you with some illusion netting? Nothing is more feminine than figure skating! Or doilies! What do you think?” And then he waved those shoes in front of her face and she was hypnotized and agreed.