MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Jessica Biel

[Photo by Daily Celeb.]

If you stare at Jessica Biel long enough while she’s actually walking around in this dress, something rather interesting happens.

First, you get a blinding migraine. But once your vision returns, still blurred from the agonizing pain, the motion and the colors of her dress start to mix and swirl and you will begin to get sleepy… very sleepy… Summer Catch was a phenomenal movie… very…. sleepy… Jessica Biel is an incredible, unforgettable talent … So sleepy… Give the girl a retroactive Emmy for 7th Heaven… Can barely stay awake… She deserves a big movie role for lots of money…

Ow. My head hurts a little. Where was I? Oh, right: That Jessica Biel is a breath of fresh air, isn’t she? Get that Marc Jacobs fellow, if he’s available — I spy a muse.