MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: LiLo

“WHAT UP, MTV nation, I am BACK!”

“It’s me! Lindsay! Star of Mean Girls and and Freaky Friday and… let’s skip a few here… ah yes, those commercials for the MTV Movie Awards! And Ugly Betty! And now I’m working on something else!  It’s this movie about… stuff! GOOD stuff! Stuff where I don’t play a stripper who loses all her limbs, or anything! I think! Anyway, I’m back and I’m in cute shoes and my pupils aren’t weirdly dilated and I need my roots done, because I’m REAL yo, and I totally DO NOT CARE that my mother and my sister are trying to get famous by talking about me all the time on their dumb show. I am NOT bothered by the fact that they have their own press appearances and paparazzi attention, and like, I SO AM NOT EVEN WORRIED about the fact that more people have talked about my sister watching grainy footage on the Internet that CLAIMED to be me having sex, than they have about my current career prospects! IT’S FINE. I don’t need to resort to any dumb publicity stunts for people to talk about me, like having a reality show, or wearing really short skirts that might blow up if a gust of wind magically comes by at EXACTLY the right moment, or… ahem, i SAID, IF A GUST OF WIND MAGICALLY COMES BY AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT MOMENT… Dammit, Samantha, I gave you ONE JOB… oh, ah, here we go:

“Heeeeeeee, oh my, who could’ve seen THAT coming! If only I were
wearing leggings that some awesome celebrity
designed, then this hugely unexpected incident would never have
happened!I It’s so… wait, get away from me, lady, you’re ruining my
picture. I didn’t pay $500 for a wind machine to have COMPANY here, you
dig? … Um, I mean, gee, I hope this doesn’t make any blogs tomorrow! Buy my leggings! Thanks!”