MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Leona Lewis

When I first saw this photo, I thought, “I guess that’s sort of an interesting cocktail dress Leona is wearing.”

And then. AND THEN:

That’s right: Leona’s skirt turned into DAVID HASSELHOFF.

No, it didn’t. But it could have. And it would have been amazing. Instead, it turned out to be this:

It’s a sequined genie-pants jumpsuit. Sequined. Genie pants. Jumpsuit. And even if you take one element of that away — say, make it sequined genie pants, or a sequined jumpsuit, or a genie-pants jumpsuit — it STILL would make my soul weep. In fact, I think the only math that might make this palatable to me would be: Sequined Genie Pants Jumpsuit – Jumpsuit – Genie Pants + skirt – shoes + better shoes x dirty martini + David Boreanaz. They really ought to teach that kind of math in school. WAY more people would become accountants.