My Lovely Lady Fugs

FERGIE: Hey there, mama.

EVA MENDES: Hey, Mary-Kate!

FERGIE: What? I’m not Mary-Kate.

EVA: Oh, GOD, sorry, Ashley. I’m so sorry. I forgot to check your eyebrows before I made my guess.

FERGIE: I’m not an Olsen. I’m Fergie. The singer? Hot fiance? Peed myself?

EVA: Right. RIGHT. I don’t know what I was thinking. You just look… Olsen-esque in that outfit, with that hair. But I should have known — you’re too orange to be an Olsen.

FERGIE: What’s with you today?

EVA: You’re also too orange to be yourself, though, actually.

FERGIE: Yeah? Well. Humph.

EVA: Your lovely lady humph. HA! I’m hilarious!

FERGIE. Sure you are. Speaking of which, did YOU always have such shelf-boobs?

EVA: Was that necessary?

FERGIE: Seriously, those things stick out way further than I remember, assuming of course that we’ve ever met before.

EVA: At this rate we probably shouldn’t ever meet again. I don’t think this went well.

FERGIE: No. You’re not coming to the wedding.