My New BFFug

Since she was recently spied whooping it up and drinking heavily, I assume Benji Madden’s seed has not yet found purchase in her womb. And yet no one in the world could convince me that Paris isn’t trying to make us suspect otherwise with this particular choice of outfit — and posture. The top itself is actually rather cute (though the leather jacket is a bit heavy on it), but I guarantee you that it was chosen for Maximum Bump-ability. Paris is the only non-pregnant woman in the world who would welcome people wondering when she is due, rather than frantically making plans to hit the gym, thanks to her own desperate need for attention. You know you’re frantic to steal the spotlight when you put on a top and say, “does this make me look kind of pregnant? AWESOME.” And yet I confess that I hope this turns into a full-on faux pregnancy — complete with a bag of flour strapped to her belly and beatific smiles for the paparazzi as they catch her skipping out of the OBGYN — if only because it will be so amusing when her scam is revealed. Can’t you see the cover of US Weekly? Faking a pregnancy is even juicier than going to jail!