Naomi Fuggs

Is it just me, or is it true that in 90 percent of photos of Naomi Watts, she looks either spaced out, or as if she’s trying to smile through some uncertainty as to what is happening around her?

This photo says to me that Liev Schreiber has great taste in coats. And that when he realized with horror that Naomi was about to leave the house wearing the exact same thing Lindsay Lohan has already donned to go clubbing (cute open-toed Louboutins desecrated by a floaty, baggy dress/shirt over leggings), he decided he’d rather die than let his beloved share anything in common with a wailing, jealous, evil-mothered wild child, so in a confusing whirl of fashion rage that left Naomi dizzy-eyed and discombobulated, he bought a coat and thrust it on her to hide this brutal happening from photographers’ prying eyes.

Then he called me up and yelled at me for typing a terrible run-on sentence. It was awkwardly prescient of him. Too bad he couldn’t have used those powers to save her from the billowy fug in the first place.