National Lampoon’s Fug This!

Remember last year — so long ago! — when Paris went to prison, and when she came out she vowed to completely change her life by eschewing all that embarrassing public partying and club-crawling, in favor of abandoning her dumb-skank reputation and using her fortune and notoriety to make the world a better place?

[Photo: Splash News]

I wonder how that’s going for her.

[Photo: Splash News]

Perhaps one of her “poems” that she “wrote” in prison explores how the
simple act of wearing relatively pure white cotton panties is so
revirginizing, it doesn’t matter if you’re flashing them at everyone
while rubbing yourself on a stage. If she titles the poem, “Look Who
I’ve Got My Hanes On Now,” she might have a shot at a lucrative
endorsement deal.