Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Hal Sparks

Because I don’t get Showtime, I don’t know much about what Hal Sparks did on Queer as Folk, so I just remember him as the diminutive but smiley guy who hosted Talk Soup after John Henson.

He was cute. And then he turned himself into Gene Simmons.

Nothing against Gene Simmons, who is a legend, and rightly so. But we already have a Gene Simmons and he’s very good at being himself. So unless Hal Sparks is going to play Gene in Trump Vodka Presents Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice: The Movie, By Donald Trump, he might want to cool it. What works on Gene Simmons looks a bit like “cocktail waiter and low-level illusionist at Jack’s House of Magic” on poor Hal here. I’m a little afraid that if he opens his mouth, a prosthetic tongue will tumble out  and get caught in his waist beads.