Opposites Fugtract

When American Idol ends every season, I am SO RELIEVED to be done with having to listen to Paula Abdul. I don’t even start watching the show until the final ten or twelve, or whatever, and I never watch the results show, and that is STILL my limit. But after this pleasant hiatus — during which, the other day, I caught her on Martha Stewart’s show, where she characteristically slurred and mumbled her way through a cookie segment and it looked like Martha had to lean in to catch what she was saying, and was being a bit forcibly jolly to make up for it; awkward — I am finally ready to see her out and about again. ESPECIALLY when she delivers with something as resplendent as this:

[Photo: WENN]

WOW. And so our twisted love affair begins anew. I’m going to want to wring the wishy-washy ot of her come April, but right now, I just want to know WHERE and WHEN I can catch her performing a Civil War re-enactment with the Rockettes. And where she keeps her musket.