The Oscars get us in such a tizzy here at Go Fug Yourself HQ that we figured we’d get a head start on anointing the fug and the fabulous.
Check out our red-carpet slideshow, courtesy of the good folks at MSNBC, but keep visiting us here because we’ll be fugging the post-parties, and other assorted sartorial shenanigans from Oscar night.
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Comments (73):
oh thank GOD you’re up and commenting. I am sputtering. Melanie Griffin’s WALKING STICK? And what would you call that ubiquitous color that showed up on everyone from Natalie Portman to the gal who won for best sound mixing? I am calling it Zombie Skin Grey. How about Laura Linney’s frock? What color was *that?* Halle Berry had it on too — I think they call it “White Woman Skin.” I don’t know. It was the dreariest imaginable Oscars night. Martin Scorcese’s wife looked like she was gonna *cut* someone.
CONGRATULATIONS!! CONGRATULATIONS!! and… CONGRATULATIONS!! On being the extrodinary fashonistas that you are on MSNBC.com for all to see!
Keep up the brilliant (read: snarky) job…
PS– Didn’t you dish on the unfortunate dress that Spike Lee’s consort was wearing– TWICE!?!
I was hoping you guys would hop to it early! I have two words for you: Taryn Manning. Oh, and three letters: WTF?
Tight. Very tight.
http://applesandbanoonoos.blogspot.com/
I HAD NO IDEA YOU GUYS WERE GOING BIG-TIME! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWESOME! I am so proud to say that I “know” you girls! I am so impressed; taking on Oscar fashion for MSNBC? Yaaaaaaaaay!
Excellent work, ladies. Also, did anyone else notice that the woman in the pic with Spike Lee (in the slideshow) is wearing a dress that has been fugged before? I laughed at that. A lot.
I saw doubles:
Drew Barrymore = Catherine Zeta Jone’s old garb
Laura Linney = Nicole Kidman’s wardrobe
Penelope Cruz = Yellow version of Rene’s old white dress
Gisele = Jen Aniston’s Chanel
Melanie G. = Catherine Z dress at Italy premiere
Emmy R = Emmy R. in white
Gwyneth = J Lo. pink with big hair
Kate Winslet = Kate Winslet same light blue
Hale Berry = Halle Berry boob imbalance dress
Sophie O = everyone’s wedding dress
Julie Delp = everyone’s wedding dress
Hilary Swank = Celine Dion’s backwards Tux
ImeldaS = Scarlet J’s wierd wierd semi-short gold frock
Salma H. = her very own doubles…
OMG and hey, was Julia Roberts echoing Bai Ling (in the latest low-cut black dress from your most recent post…)???!!!!????
Josh Groban looked prettier than his gal pal…?
What the #(*$& was model Natalia doing there?
Does a lack of creativity and uniqueness count as a FUG??? So boring, SO BORING! And where were the oldies but goodies and promising up and commers such as Nic Kidman, Catherine, Clooney, Pitt, Cameron, Lucy Liu, Tom, Tom, Denzel, Naomi Watts?
Sorry but you gone mushbrained on Kate Winslet. No argument about the color, but what better way to announce to the world that you gone double-wide than with horizontal drapes? And what better way to point out to those who’ve forgotten where your pubic area is than two arrows, one from above, one from below? Plus her boobs suffer from pancakenitis in that… thing. Ffugg-ly.
I’m glad you’re going to be covering the rest here, because the snark factor was too low for my taste in your contribution on MSNBC.
I realize it’s not the same audience, but even by the end of the 21 shots, it was not snarky enough to be funny.
Savage them in the post-parties, dearies.
As one who’s watched Sophie Okonedo with interest for years (she’s been in a few good British TV drama series) I am absolutely horrified that she’s succumbed to the lollipop-head anorexia that is de rigeur in Hollywood. She had a wonderful figure, slender but not bony, but now … *shakes head sadly*
Surely, surely, Johnny is excused because he’s off buckling swash? That sure looks like Captain Jack Sparrow’s insane beard (minus the plaits).
And why did no-one tell that woman that white ballgowns make you look like a bride and are not a good idea for evening wear?
Doesn’t beyonce look lovely? I love that look on her….
Damn, I totally missed it… I blogged the ceremony… you can find it here:
http://blissfullyclueless.blogspot.com/2005/02/blogging-oscars.html
Loved the slideshow! Couldn’t wait to hear what you girls had to say!! But, no Annette Bening “hair-don’t” tips?
ok, love you girls, but i must disagree on a couple of points…
a: cate blanchett looked amazing!! the dress, hair, accessories, etc. were tremendous
b: i loved the scarlett johanssen look….she can pull off anything
i will say, however, that kate winslet looked great! that color was beautiful. and pierre etoile, if you truly believe that she has gone “double-wide”, then you must think kate bosworth looks a little chunky.
In Jonny Depp’s defense he is in the middle of shooting Pirates of the Caribbean two and three so that is why he has the freaky facial hair.
Awards Season Fashion Burnout was epidemic. The lack of pulled-together looks seemed so rampant that I could actually hear the crackle and hiss of overly-hot curling rods in the background. These gals HAVE HAD IT with the torture that couture looks demand. I’ll bet the red carpet veterans were all wishing for their sweats and Pringles at home!
Congrats on going big time, ladies! I am totally telling everyone that I knew you when…
In other news, can you explain why Beyonce had to sing everything? I am really confused.
1.Salma Hayek looked burning hot.She’s got such a nice body that she looks stunning in almost any dresses she wears. Plus, having perfect boobs doesn’t hurt.
2.Kate Blanchett’s dress looked as awful as her face. It was unflattering for her flat-chested figure plus way to yellow for her pale skin.
3.Laura Linney’s hair were a nightmare: too hard-looking.
4.Beyoncé’s dress was simple and boring: plain black, classic shape,weird hair-do.
5.Melanie Griffith should definitley give up on awards shows. She looked like a piece of garbage in this messy grey hoochie mamma stuff. Maybe its the mid-age crisis….
6. Hillary Swank’s look was too sporty and scary: her body-builder body looked too hard in this piece. It wasn’t sexy. Plus the hair was way too ordinary.
7.Sophie Okonedo’s dress was ok but it looked like a wedding gown.
8.I didn’t feel Nathalie Portman’s greek prom-queen look: That piece in her hair looked so old-school.
8.Scarlett Johannson should give up on hair-frizzing and bleaching products. Plus her staight-from-grandma’s closet’s dress wasn’t very flattering for her 50′s-curvy figure.
I maintain: Fugliest Oscars ever. Okay, probably not fugliest, but definitely the most boring.
Oh, and I just realized that Johnny Depp’s tux is a near exact replica of the one worn by Jamie Foxx in Ray. Hahaha! Doesn’t explain the facial hair, though. :/
Congrats, ladies – fantastic job, as always.
I read that Antonio is responsible for the train wreck that was Melanie’s dress. She had it narrowed down to some choices and Antonio made the final selection. WHY?????!!!!
I also recognized that dress that Spike Lee’s date is wearing. It has been fugged before!
I spent the entire evening in shock, because Kirsten Dunst actually looked good. Nice dress, appropriate accessories, and cute (read clean) hair. I couldn’t believe it.
I found it – Spike Lee’s date is wearing the dress you fugged on Diane Kruger last September. It’s not just fugly, it’s from last year!
I think they should have cast Melanie Griffith as Eminem’s mother in 8-Mile instead of Kim Basinger. What an oversight.
LOVED your commentary at MSNBC. However, didn’t understand the comment about Hillary Swank being all “business in the front.” Um, did anyone else notice she appeared a bit cold?? Or something??
I watched a couple hours of Oscars, and I thought to myself, “I can’t wait to see what go fug yourself.com has to say about some of this”, like Hilary Swank’s dress that’s the complete opposite of that backward-looking prom dress (as in, looks like she put it on backwards, but it’s too concealing rather than too revealing)
I can’t wait to see more from the Oscars!
About your comments on Johnny Depp.. Give the man some room ok? He just lost one hell of a good friend last week. He has been making arraingments for the wake, and is greiving for Hunter S. Thompson. (which btw, Depp was in the process of turining another Hunter book into a movie)
How would you look if you suddenly lost a good friend? Give him some credit for not shirking his celebrity responsiblilties..
laura linney picked the perfect dress to emphasize the size difference between her big hips and small bust.
and she looked like she’d been wrapped in a tatty role of old carpet, the nasty grey synthetic kind you see in office hallways splattered with coffee stains.
as for hilary swank, she’s playing the nun/slut game.
http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/
“I read that Antonio is responsible for the train wreck that was Melanie’s dress. She had it narrowed down to some choices and Antonio made the final selection. WHY?????!!!!”
____________________
Because he always wants to be the pretty one?
Laura Linney looks like she got into a knock down, drag out fight with a jar of dippity-do and lost.
Melanie Griffith looks like a dried out Las Vegas showgirl who never made it to the Strip.
Scarlett Johannson should beat the hell out of whoever did that to her hair.
she’s spent such a lot of money on her face, you’d think she’d at least invest in a bra. the face might not sag but the breast does.
http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/
So ladies.. all the congrats int he world on going pro but have we forgotten why we’re here? I can find nice photos anywhere. Where are my fugtastic photos?
Wow, that’s rude. I apologize if the assignment we were given did not suit your needs.
Oh my.. are you ladies going MAINSTREAM??!
CONGRATS on landing MSNBC – Next Stop E! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make Star Jones go away.
For me?
Come back to your own site, my dears. While I wish you a world of congratulations (you totally deserve these honors), I miss the biting sarcasm that I find on your regular site. Perhaps you toned it down for the masses, but we love you just the way you are.
Bravo! I see the swearing had to be cut out of MSNBC but your assessments were still beautiful. My favorite was USHER! Please leave us alone Usher! Jesus!
Uh, Trikc, OF COURSE, they were tamer than usual. It’s MSNBC. CLEARLY we are all here waiting for the REAL fug. Please, please be patient and respect our fearless leaders. Well done, ladies. We are so proud.
Oh, and Scarlett, please put down the peroxide and get your finger out of the plug. It actually HURTS to look at your hair.
*sniff* – I’m tearing up, I’m so proud of you ladies. Of COURSE it’s not going to be exactly the same FUG commentary on MSNBC – jeez, that’s why you have your *own* website. Nicely done indeed.
I’m just so pleased and proud of you – and I think you did a lovely job of fugging or admiring what I thought was on average pretty well frocked crowd. So much more difficult when Kristin Dunst actually showers and Gwenyth doesn’t show up with black eyes and a sheer saggy top. (And JLo’s at home taking pregnancy tests.)
Is Depp in the middle of shooting a biopic of Colonel Sanders?
Hilary Swank´s dress looked like something from the Lt. Uhuru eveningwear collection.
This year was an endless parade of the Terribly Unflattering Strapless Dress. I can´t even remember them all, but notable offenders include Laura Linney, Sophie Okonedo, Renee Zellweger, Sandra Oh… and despite GFY´s plaudits, I thought Beyonce and Emmy Rossum weren´t particularly flattered by their gowns either. Many of these women seemed to have dieted away all the last traces of their body fat or simply chose dresses that didn´t support what they do or don´t have. But no matter the cause, they all looked washboard flat, like they were attending a middle school dance with marginally less pink crinoline and not, y´know, the biggest awards ceremony in the world. There´s certainly nothing wrong with flat-chestedness, but with hordes of designers and stylists swarming you´d think someone might mention the virtue of supportive undergarments, falsies, some tape to hold the damn thing up, or simply a more flattering dress. Penelope Cruz was one of the few to pull it off, but let us not speak of the bow!
At first glance, I thought the frizzy-headed, loudly-lipsticked terror was Courtney Love, not Scarlett Johansson.
I can´t decide if I like Kate Winslet´s dress. The silhouette is ok but it looks like it´s made of periwinkle polyester matte jersey.
Can anyone explain Melanie Griffith’s cane?
She has a broken foot.
While we’re explaining things…anyone have thoughts on Orlando Bloom’s tie?
Congrats on the mainstreaming, girls. Some funny stuff in there. not the least of which was the melanie griffith horror. Yike!
Gawd, I am just now coming around from the most BORING event I’ve ever witnessed. Was it everyone’s intention to be on their best behavior? No excitement, what so ever… The only bright light at any of these events is when Robin Williams is invited to shake things up a little. Host choice? Trying to be controversial, since it seems to be the year of the AFRICAN AMERICAN. Can we all just move on now? Wardrobe choices? EYEECCHHH… I would have to say Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek were the best dressed. What was up with Pasty, Skin-Stretched Renee Zellweger? Get that girl a Krispy Kreme STAT! Like a little man in drag. Poor Melanie Griffith. The only way she can drum up publicity now is to tote around a cane. Antonio, a little less Grecian Formula on those locks buddy. Did I really hear Antonio say Melanie used to be an Olympian? I was rooting for Annette Bening but knew it would go to Hillary Swank. Nice hips and high-beams galpal. What does her husband do for a living anyway? The Trailer Park tale is so over, surely she has upgraded her life since the first win? Gwenyth Paltrow? No Boobs, none. Scarlett Johannsen? Bleached and Fried beyond recognition. And those teeth? Can you say Mr. Ed? Loved Leo and Giselle. Emmy Rossum? Perfection. Natalie Portman? Beautiful. Johnny Depp and his “companion” Vanessa Paradis, (mother of his two children)looked like typical Europeans. Everyone gives them Crap for looking strange but, they live in FRANCE FOR GOD’S SAKE. Give them credit for maintaining individuality. Kate Winslet, love the color, not the style. Charlize Theron? Nice Prom Dress. Cate Blanchett? Bland-chd. Clint Eastwood, looked like he might keel over, he’s getting/is really OLD. Gotta dig Morgan Freeman. Never makes any bad movies. Jamie Foxx totally deserved the Oscar, that was a given. I love how everyone who’s “anyone” crawls out from the woodwork to hit the parties. Mischa Barton, Johnny Knoxville, Janet Jackson, Suzanne Somers, and of course everyone’s favorite couple, Jessica Simpson and her poor, neutered, second-banana husband Nick Lachey. They did NOT look like NEWLYWEDS. What in God’s name did she do to her hair? Too masculine, too tan, too yuck. Oh well, maybe next year will be better…
Hah! Robin Williams. Sad clown indeed. Love the look on the face of the woman behind him. Shock and awe.
Oh yeah, how could I forget Beyonce? Jeeezuusss! Were they short on talent? Who’s bright friggin’ idea was it to pair her with Josh Groban? I swear if I saw her come rollin’ onstage one more time with those HIPS FROM HELL, I was gonna vomit blood! The only thing I can say for Laura Linney’s hair is: faux hawk. Been there, done that. Oh yeah, Gwen Stefani? Nice cornrows girlfriend. Goes well with the theme that permeated the awards…
Congrats girls!! We can say we knew you when. Please NEVER abandon this website when you become bigtime!! I can’t believe the morons over at E!online haven’t started begging you to write for their ‘fashion police’ instead of the drunken 10th grader who clearly does.
By the way Oprah, no matter how hard you try, or how much money you spend, you will NEVER EVER turn into Halle Berry.
I will personally escort Josh Groban home from any party you care to name. Also, Vanessa Paradis is a vampire ice queen and Nicole Kidman, her questionably human handmaiden.
the Hilary Swank number reminded me of that terrible backwards Celine Dion suit. Awful.
Congrats on landing the MSNBC gig, girls. I hope there will be many more where that one came from, you’ll build an empire, and then I can one day work for you in the kingdom of Fug.
Congrats on your MSNBC slide show! Nicely done, girls!
Well played, ladies.
Oh — in response to some of the earlier comments: Spike Lee’s “date” is in fact Mrs. Lee.
There is nothing wrong with Beyonce’s hips. Hips are a good thing. Wearing gold lame hot pants on the hips – that is the bad thing.
Congratulations, nice job.
I see someone already pointed out Melanie Griffith’s broken foot (re: cane). In regards to Johnny’s weird facial hair, he was also still wearing his gold teeth.
Anyone else think Natalie Portman walked off the set of “Star Wars: Evil Gets Sexy” in that dress? Totally looked like she was kitted out as Padme, not as an actress nominated for an academy award.
Oh, and can we all stop ragging on how “fat” everyone looked? I was delighted that Julia Roberts brought her nursing boobies up front and center and was glad to see a few women with some curves left. No, we can’t all be skinny girls, and when we become that mysterious TOO skinny, we get hounded as well. Just leave it, if you don’t like Beyounce’s hips, someone out there does.
Oh man…I can’t believe that neither of you commented on this, but check out picture 16. It’s that weird half blue velevet/half black and white ruffle explosion dress from the Fug Archives! (Fughives?)
Do you know what this means? It means that there are *two* people in this world who think that this dress is flattering! TWO!
Heh, and on a more Hollywood-minded thought, it also means that two different celebs have appeared in the same dress! How embarassing for them…
Julia Roberts, and Beyonce (in the dress she wore on the red carpet), were lovely… but everything went downhill for Beyonce after that. The men showed us that you can put a man in a suit, but that doesn’t guarantee that he’ll look classy.
Usher was a good example of this. He looked like a country club waiter. Spike Lee looked like a waiter at a Moroccan restaurant; Antonio Banderas looked like a limo driver with his suit jacket on; when he took it off, he looked like a busboy. Ethan Hawke looked like some homeless guy that Julie Delpy found at the thrift store that she always shops in; she tried her best to clean him up, but he still looked quite shaggy, despite her efforts.
Hilary Swank had on the worst dress, definitely. Someone asked if she was wearing it backwards… No… but I’m sure that if Li’l Kim or Bai Ling would have worn it, they would have flipped it around without a second thought. Laura Linney had the worst hair, I think she must have shared some of Antonio’s axle grease with him, or maybe she shared with Orlando Bloom instead.
The worst of the men, though, had to be Adam Duritz… ugh! Major fug! He had way too many different colors and patterns going on in the same outfit, well if you could call it an “outfit”… it certainly didn’t fit, and he shouldn’t have worn it out to the Oscars, or anywhere, for that matter…
Loved the slideshow, ladies; mucho congrats on the MSNBC gig!
Oh, and can someone please arrange to have Adam Duritz heavily sedated, and shave off that absolutely ridiculous “hair”? As soon as I saw him on screen, I busted out laughing. Poor, deluded bastard.
Is MSNBC broken for anyone else? All of the pictures are broken!
Congrats on the msnbc thing- way to get your fug on! Entertaining as always.
NOW I know why Antonio piced that dress. Also kind of explains the sagging boobies, though they do have those tape type bra things for backless gowns these days.
http://www.eonline.com/Features/Awards/Oscars2005/Pics/index11.html
gah, not a single person has noticed that johnny depp’s outfit is a near-exact match of the one jamie foxx wore as ray charles.
see:
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/movies/gifs/0918ray.jpg
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7042535/displaymode/1107//s/2/framenumber/18
I can’t see the slide show, and am not allowed to download the thing it wants me to download at work… any chance of posting the frocky horror show here?
Did Melanie Griffith get her “Antonio” tatoo removed? Isn’t it on her arm? Her arms are visible in this dress, but I haven’t seen the tatoo from any angle…
Great job. I love reading your blog! Greatness!!!
Love your fug but can’t believe you missed Renee Zellweiger – she looked like a Lara Flynn Boyle wannabe with that hair and the fleshless body!
i love it! well done ladies I knew that they had to be some really bad taste hiding among all that well groomed rubbish
After watching the travesty that is E! Fashion Police reviewing the Oscars red carpet…Please, please, Heather and Jessica–usurp Kathy Griffin and that strange bald man with the awful taste!
I never thought I’d say this, but between them and Star Jones, it was enough to make me pine for Joan and Melissa.
They were, nearly star for star, 180 degrees from your opinions. Which would make them close to 100% wrong.
Good grief, how E! needs you two.
Well done girls! Never seen better slamming, not even on RAW!