Oscar Fug Carpet: Fuggifer Aniston

I think that, in this moment, even Jennifer Aniston knew this was a wasted opportunity.

Yawn. A black dress and hair around her face. And a too-long necklace that’s fighting with the neckline of the limp-rag-looking gown she threw on in the limo. Totally boring and uninspired and exactly the theme we’ve seen before. It’s everyday Jen, not glammed-up Jen.

How about trying an updo, lady? I know that’s a strong chin, but it’s not like she’s never worn her hair up before. I’ve seen Friends. Play. Get a little creative. Isn’t she walking the same breakup line Jessica Simpson did — becoming best friends with her hairdresser?

Incidentally, the dresses most people talk about with Jen are the red strapless sheath and the ivory-and-cold strapless empire-waisted gown, neither of which — Aniston, pay attention — is black. One exception, if I remember right, was a low-cut cleavage-barer, which at least flaunted her figure. This dress does none of that. And given the PR war raging between Team Aniston and Team Jolie-Pitt, the fact that a small-screen star struggling to own the big-screen was invited to present at the Oscars had to be considered a great opportunity — and perhaps even a leg up, since Brangelina was busy gestating in Paris. But Jen played it safe, played it typical, on a night when she could’ve taken chances with color and style to look more glamorous than we’re used to seeing her. Wasn’t this all about seeing her on par with all the movie stars, not as a TV star trying to break into the In Crowd?

And, even a little, wasn’t this about sticking it to Team Jolie and showing off her bod and knocking everyone dead, instead of looking bored and rolling her eyes during red-carpet interviews?

Boo.