Oscar Post-Party Fug Carpet Pregnancy Rumor-Mongering: Rachel Griffiths

It’s not so much that I think Rachel Griffiths looks especially pregnant; rather, I just don’t know many people who caress their abdominal region unless they’re invested in the contents of their uterus. Perhaps she’s merely regretting ordering the risotto. Or maybe she ate too many tiny egg-salad sandwiches at the funeral she just attended for the demise of the far better, more flattering outfit she had planned to wear until her cranky child put it in the microwave. Indigestion is rough. Maybe the good people at Tums should start co-sponsoring these parties — after all, “Tums” backwards is “Smut,” and that’s kind of appropriate, don’t you think?