Oscar Post-Party Fug: Jessica Alba

I don’t care if it seemed in appropriate that the star of Honey got to present an Academy Award — Jessica Alba looked freaking hot at the Oscars.

Gorgeous dress, natural landscaping up top that’s not cramped and pinched, glowing skin and a pretty updo… if I looked like this in that dress, I would probably never take it off.

Which is why I’m confused that when Alba did, she went so far in the opposite direction.

I don’t even know what that is. A suit? A belted dress? A trenchcoat that’s hiding some kind of white cotton jersey thingamajig underneath it? All I can tell for sure is that she forgot to throw shoes into her bag that would look good with it.

She’s still not fugly, per se, but that move from A to B… she went from glowing Oscar goddess to the headlining speaker at a conference for mathletes, whose rousing speech entitled, “Putting The ‘Sin’ in ‘Sine’” led to a huge jump in Texas Instruments stock and some naughty experiments with graphing calculators.