Oscar Post-Party Fug: Paris Hilton

There are so many ways to go with this photograph of Paris Hilton.

1) Well, at least it’s not the kind of cock you expect Paris to drag around with her…

2) Never before has hunting seemed so appealing. Indeed, somewhere in America, Nicole Richie is suiting up in her best bright orange and borrowing a rifle (and, most likely, hiring someone to help her lift it to shoulder-height).

3) Oh, honey, we’ve already seen your plumage.

4) How unfair that a peacock had to go naked so that Paris Hilton, of all people, could get dressed.

5) We would suspect this is her attempt at playing off of Jon Stewart’s “Dick Cheney/Bjork and the swan dress” joke, if we thought she had any idea who Dick Cheney is. Or, indeed, who Jon Stewart is. (They’re not Greek enough to make her radar.)

Regardless of which path is the one you think leads to enlightenment, one thing is certainly universally true: She looks more like an aging drag queen than ever.