Oscar Post-Party Oh-My-God-Why-Is-Everyone-Dressing-Like-They’re-Pregnant: Kerry Washington

I don’t mind this dress, in theory, but something about the way it hangs on Kerry Washington makes her look kind of bloated and large. And we’re sure she’s not. Because, seriously, no one in this town has eaten solid food in two days.

It bugs me that the illusion netting is bunching up on the side, and the entire line of the gown just swallows her whole. What is it? She just broke up with David Moscow — is this going to be another Brady-Moynahan story, but without the hot quarterback and the supermodel third-wheel? Is there something fertile in the water in Los Angeles? Or was Kerry just the victim of a waist-gobbling gown?

I guess we’ll find out soon. However, we may have already lost interest. What can we say? It’s just not potentially soapy enough. Get back to us when her presumed-decapitated high-school sweetheart turns out to be the father.