Oscar Ceremony Fug: Nicole Kidman

I just… I wish so many things. I wish I had a Diet Coke in my hand. I wish all the daytime soaps didn’t suck right now. I wish those Charmin commercials with the dancing cartoon bears who flaunt their wiping habits had never been made. And I wish Nicole Kidman would stop wearing white.

I also wish she hadn’t done her hair that way, but let’s get back to the clothes: White DOES NOT WORK FOR ME ON HER BODY. Although Nicole has done what she can with makeup, I think it totally washes out her beautiful skin, especially without the darker red hair to balance it. As a fair skinned person myself, if I wore this, I suspect someone would come up to me and say, “I’m so sorry to see that you apparently have been locked in an attic for five years. You must have very strong WiFi in your house.” Not to mention how the gown itself seems overly slouchy, and as if it’s some sort of
dying exotic bird that is about to molt its last feathers. I mean, seriously, if I yanked out the tails of some of my old My Little Pony toys and crimped them, and glued them to a skirt, it would be a pretty decent approximation of what’s happening down around her feet. It saddens me. Bounce back with some color next time, Nic. I know you can do it — you once wore chartreuse, woman! Be bold again.