Oscar Fug or Fab Carpet: Marisa Tomei

So, if I’d had a dollar for every time I turned to Heather last night and shrugged and said, “I think I need to see a picture,” we wouldn’t have to sell advertising anymore. I could NOT make up my mind about anything. OR get a decent look at many of the dresses, it felt like. (In part, I think, because both E! and TV Guide had like no room on the red carpet to get their camera back far enough for a full body shot of anyone. TV Guide, in particular, had their camera, like, perched on the top of Lisa Rinna’s head.) So I almost feel like this is the first time I’m getting a real look at Tomei’s frock:

I….like it? I think. Maybe. I mean, sure: The bottom looks like a series of very involved cocktail napkins, as spread out over a bar. (In fact, we actually had a reader email us during the red carpet to bemoan the fact that Tomei’s dress was giving her flashbacks to a time when she worked at a restaurant as a napkin wrangler, and I can see how this would give such a girl the vapors. I once worked at an insurance brokerage and if someone showed up on the red carpet wearing a liability waiver as a hat, I would probably have a breakdown.) But at least it’s sort of interesting and it’s not like the napkins are all waving around her face in a distracting and crazy fashion. In fact, I think my biggest complaint is that the one strap….is almost too big to even be called a strap. And yet it’s obviously not a sleeve. It’s a…slrap. Her slrap feels a bit WIDE to me. I keep staring at it and trying to decide if I would like it better were it less slrap-like and more strap-like, or if I would just chop it off and make the whole kit and kaboodle strapless (and slrapless). Oh, what to do, what to do….?