Oscar Post-Party Fug: Sharon Stone

It’s Sharon Stone. OF COURSE she is essentially topless and also kind of looks great. If I were Sharon Stone, I suspect I would wear this sort of thing everywhere — to Hurry Curry for chicken tikka, to the corner store to pick up FroYo, to the dry cleaners to pick up all my other sheer gowns. And when people were all, like, “dude, I can see your nips,” I would be all, “I AM SHARON STONE,” and they would be, “oh. You have a point,” and then I would sweep out to go pick up my dragon at the groomers. I sort of wish I could experience that. You know, in a Being John Malkovich kind of way. I think I’d like to experience Being Sharon Stone. Can you imagine? For one thing, you’d probably spend ten minutes just crossing and uncrossing your legs and giggling. Then you’d call Michael Douglas’s house and hang up when CZJ answered. The possiblities are really kind of endless.