Oscars Oooh, So Close Carpet: Elizabeth Banks

Wait, so I have two beefs with Elizabeth Banks: Last night on the pre-show telecast, she blithely referred to her gig hosting the Science and Technical Academy Awards as “the Nerd Oscars.” And however she may have meant it, the phrase came off a bit derogatory rather than affectionate. And dammit, I am a nerd, so I take issue. I may not know how to do anything remotely sciencey or technical when it comes to movies, or laboratory work, or even sometimes my own kitchen (unless you are referring to the science of mold-growth in refrigerated Tupperware), but I am a nerd, and so if I were at the S&T Oscars and I then heard the hostess rag on my field on E!, I would want to staple something to her head.

All of which makes it hard to judge her impartially, but I have to try anyway. It was tough to hit upon my exact feeling about this dress because it looked different to me depending on how she was standing. 

This way, it’s great:

Still pretty, still a good color, but… a tad small, no? Again like Demi’s, it doesn’t seem to fit her chest — what is UP with people not wanting to make dresses for women with breasts? — and although Elizabeth’s waist looks enviably tiny, the dress seems maybe a size too small over her hips. Something about it pulls oddly there, and from this angle, the ruffles look a bit more like a pile of blue Kleenex, the likes of which might build up at the side of your bed when you’re sick and you accidentally bought the dyed kind and you’re yanking it willy-nilly from the box and like seven sheets come out at once and you only want one so you shake one free and the others drop gracefully to the floor, to be picked up a week later when you are no longer confined to your bed. And I am not sold on the shoes. But, you know, other than THAT… if only her torso didn’t look shrink-wrapped into this thing, we might have a winner.