MAGGIE: Hi, Jake. I know you’re my brother, but it must be said that you’re very cute.
JAKE: Thank you. And you also look lovely. I think.
MAGGIE: You think?
JAKE: Well, it’s.. you know, it FITS, and it’s INTERESTING, but…
MAGGIE: Lay it on me, bro.
JAKE: The longer I stare at the skirt, the more the pattern feels like the psych-ward musings of a deranged bee driven to madness by the dangers of his lifestyle.
MAGGIE: Actually, it IS.
JAKE: Really?
MAGGIE: No, but that would be a better story. I am calling it Bee Movie 2: Full Metal Straitjacket.
JAKE: I will say that at least it’s better than what you wore to the Independent Spirit Awards.
MAGGIE: Oh, come on, that’s just a mean photo to use.
JAKE: Fine, fine. How about this one?
MAGGIE: Much better. But, now, what’s wrong with this?
JAKE: You’re going to make me say it?
MAGGIE: Yes.
JAKE: Bunchy lopsided naked weird bra lapse shoulder flag.
MAGGIE: Wow. I reduced you to word vomit.
JAKE: Better than actual vomit!
MAGGIE: But my hair is so much better! See here:
JAKE: Yes, but the dress… The shoulders look like ribbons of red-velvet-cake batter being poured lazily into a pan, making you the stripper who didn’t know that you should BAKE the cake before hiding in it.
MAGGIE: That’s exactly what I was going for!
JAKE: Really?!?
MAGGIE: No. I’m calling Mom.
JAKE: Brat.
MAGGIE: Dreamboat.
JAKE: What?
MAGGIE: I can’t stay mad at you.
Comments (237):
The black dress is like a before pic for some sort of amazing product to combat industrial-strength static cling.
I can’t escape the feeling that she came to the Oscars wrapped in a beach towel.
i thought she looked really pretty. and he was so handsome and made me a little verklempt when he said those nice supportive brotherly things about her to ryan seacrest.
I WANTED to love her Oscar dress but then I couldn’t get away from the fact that the pattern is remeniscent of my Grandma’s bathing suit (or something you’d see on a tropical shirt).
The cut of the dress is nice, though, and her hair looks not-terrible.
The pattern is weird, but it fits so well and her face and hair look so lovely that I’m giving it thumbs up. Now can we talk about jake – just for fun?
Have you seen her Oscar bracelet? Absolutely gorgeous!
The Oscar dress fits, it’s interesting and non-droopy. MAJOR win for this girl.
But can someone please introduce her to supportive undergarments? I feel like her Spirit Awards …thing… and Miley Cyrus’s Oscar “dress” needed to go in a blender and we might’ve had someone fully clothed for once.
I don’t get why she’s wearing opaques under the black dress.
I mean, I know about the “never show legs and cleavage at the same time” rule, but in this case it seems like a case of bolting the stable door when the horse has wrecked up the stable, set his oats on fire, verbally abused a pony, then bolted.
I LOVE the Oscar dress but the other two were horrid. I think I’d love the Oscar dress even more on someone else
LOVED the Oscar dress. But that last one OMG.
The Oscar dress looks like it was airbrushed at the boardwalk t-shirt kiosk. Does it say “MAGGIE” somewhere in there?
The print is a bit questionable but it’s fun and different, and I love the colors. Also, her brother has the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen on a man. I mean, WOW.
Heck, I’m just happy that she isn’t sagging down to her elbows in her Oscar dress (as compared to, say, the ruffly-red-cake one).
I liked the dress way better before someone compared it to a hawaiian shirt, now I can’t get that out of my head. Props for the cute hair and makeup, though.
I really want to like her Oscar dress, but I can’t help but think that it looks like a hawaiian shirt. I would have like to see more jewelry, maybe some bangles or something to give it that extra umph!
Maggie Gyllenhaal is the like emperor in The Emperor has No Clothing. She manages to take the most beautiful dresses and always make them look HIDEOUS. Yet critics and magazines are always slobbering about how “avante guarde” and “gorgeous” she looks. Seriously folks – just because someone dresses like a nut (a la Agnes Dayne) does not make them a fashion genius. Let’s call this for what this is – She looks like she is wearing a moldy shower curtain or as if she just came back from a hula dance. The dress itself is pretty and on someone like Diane Kruger, it probably would have looked fabulous. But on Maggie Gyllenhaal, it looks HIDEOUS. What is it about Maggie – her smug attitutde, her self-satisfaction, her constant self-promotion, her inability to stand up straight, her inability to brush her air, her annoying voice, her inability to wear a dress without wrinkling it to hell – she can turn the most gorgeous couture dress and make it awful. She looked horrible – wrinkled and moldly – and completey inappropriate for the red carpet. Worse, she chose a pink lipcolor straight from the 1980s. Worse, the light lip color totally showed her cold sore in close up shots. Instead of going to a plastic surgeon before the Oscars, she should have gone to her regular doctor and gotten a refill of VALTREX.
Considering her choices are usually risky at best and usually present rather frumpily, this dress is MAJOR improvement. For all the pattern haters, it’s Dries and his silks up close and personal are FANTASTIC.
Considering her choices are usually risky at best and usually present rather frumpily, this dress is MAJOR improvement. For all the pattern haters, it’s Dries and his silks up close and personal are FANTASTIC.
Loved the oscar dress and really the whole idea, although as far as the execution, she needed a fix for the wrinkles and the fit seemed a touch strange (did it look lopsided in the bodice to anyone else?).
The other two were just crazy. Yikes.
The fit of her oscar dress was flawless. Now if only she picked a different fabric…..
See, that’s why I kind of love her Oscar dress. It’s very Maggie Gyllenhall without being completely bugfuck crazy. I mean, if she has to be who she is, and she should be, then I’ll take crazy pattern over whatever piece of insanity she might wear instead.
Rock on, Maggie, you crazy bee, you.
“The Oscar dress looks like it was airbrushed at the boardwalk t-shirt kiosk. Does it say “MAGGIE” somewhere in there?”
Oh, but how awesome would that have been???
I LOVE Maggie’s Oscar dress– interesting pattern and she looks great. The other two? Awful. Hideous. Do not want. Especially the pink one.
Somebody please cast my girl Maggie G in a disaster movie. Each of those dresses IS one, all by itself.
Bottom to top, starting with –
The red: “Day of the Dead Terms of Endearment Magnolias.”
Black indie number: “Castaway Killers.”
Oscar dress: “All Roland Emmerich Weather-Disaster Movies Combined, Minus the Flying Bus Hat.”
I actually really like the print of the Oscar dress, though I wish the skirt wasn’t quite so straight. I have nothing good to say about the other two.
Also, I know this isn’t the place for it, but can I just have a tiny vent here about how every year there are a bunch of movies about hot young women falling for shlubby old guys, and at least one of them always seems to get nominated for an Oscar. Because, you know, it’s just so true.
There. Sorry.
Re the Oscar dress: how nice that Maggie recycled that polyester bathrobe Grandma brought back from her big trip to Hawaii in 1972!
Very nice Oscar dress, and they look adorably like brother and sister. The black thing is a big steamin’ cup of WhatTheSamHill, and the last one was either from “People of Wal-Mart” or one of the friday mug shots on “The Smoking Gun”.
While I didn’t really love or hate the Oscar dress, I had to give it a win because of how she usually looks. Hair done, decent makeup, dress fit nicely, possibly some appropriate undergarments…anything else (color, design, pattern) is gravy.
It’s kind of sad, actually. To have to preface it like that, that she looked amazing *only* for Maggie Gyllenhaal.
I’m totally biased as I love her, I love them both! That Oscar dress: amazing! I love it! I want it! The other dresses not so much but still.. Maggie is amazing!
Her hair is done, her makeup looks like she put it on the day of (instead of the night before) the Oscars, her jewelry is just big and sparkly enough to notice without looking all wrinkled-old-lady-living-in-a-condo-on-Miami-Beach, and the dress fits her perfectly (a HUGE accomplishment for slouchy boobs in a strapless). Can we give her points for that without noticing the pattern that looks like my grandmother’s shower curtain? Coincidentally, she has costume jewelry that would fall into the wrinkled-old-lady-living-in-a-condo-on-Miami-Beach category, but then she actually is a wrinkled old lady living in a condo on Miami Beach. So there’s that.
I seriously can’t get over those last two dresses. What’s wrong with her? She dresses like the weird girl in college who seemed proud of her bad breath and furry legs because, like, hygiene is so bourgeois. Get a grip, lady, you look awful. Stand up straight, put a bra on, brush your hair and wear a dress that doesn’t look like you purposely went to a thrift store because you’re too cool and unusual to dress like a Normal. Sheesh.
I love this dress, makeup and accessories. I thought she looked perfect. At least it was better than most of the mother-of-the-bride crap.
Funny – this was one of my favorites! It fitted like a glove and smacked of style. I like it when a woman wears the dress rather than being taken over by the dress……
The Oscar dress actually managed to distract me from her pig skeleton face. She should never take it off.
whoaaaaaaaaaaaa..
“Susie Fashion” needs a laxative or something.
Ok, so the Spirit Awards used to be held on the beach, and everyone showed up super dressed down and SoCal/Beach vibe-y and the whole atmosphere rocked. Totally the opposite of the Oscars.
God knows where the Spirit Awards were held this year, but clearly, not at the beach because that outfit is so NOT beach worthy. Tights? at the beach? A-what?!
If the awards were held at the beach, then Maggie’s Oscar dress, shorted and with cool flip-floppy footwear would have rocked the whole laid back vibe.
Although, I do love her Oscar look, and only Maggie could pull it off. Plus, she has the best arm candy there in that picture, so I’m distracted by her anyway. I mean, who wouldn’t look freaking amazing with Jake on their arm? I know I would look infinetely better
I really liked her Oscars dress. For her. It actually worked.
And that black dress… well… listen, if she’d just pulled it TOGETHER… if her right TIT hadn’t been HANGING OUT…
Oh, let’s face it… what the FUCK??? Was she DRUNK? The dress wasn’t the problem. It was the fit. That dress was fine. It was fine. She was just WEARING it wrong.
What was UP with that TIT?
And as for that THIRD dress and those TIGHTS… well, christ.
I really liked the Oscar dress a lot. I think it would have been miles better, though, were her hair down. It’s the kind of dress that needs bigger hair to balance it out.
Gyllenhall–This montage is decisive: 1) She has terrible taste in clothes, and b) I like her.
But just let me sneak in an unsolicited comment or two here: I must affirm the sexy-dignified Kristen Stewart dress. Brunettes cannot go wrong with dark navy!
OK, I think I’ve established that I’m not blind. Now: I find your lack of faith in Zoe Saldana’s purple dress disturbing.
It is not often that I like an arguably wacky dress. It is rare. So, on this occasion, I am compelled to announce: Lithe little Saldana looks awesome in that gorgeous purple and gold dress. I am smitten. My heart bursts with love and melts for that dress, in all its non-conformist glory.
I was hoping you guys would say something about how for some reason she looked so tired and gaunt at the Independent Spirit Awards. What the heck was up with that?! When I first saw pictures from that event on Saturday, my first thought was that maybe she’d lost a lot of weight that she didn’t need to lose. She looked fantastic at the Oscars, though, so I guess it must have been that (awful, saggy, ill-fitting, boob-pancaking, static-clingy) dress. And her makeup, which for whatever reason wasn’t helping.
The strength of the Oscar dress is that, despite it’s sophistication, it IS evocative of tropical prints, vintage shower curtains and old kiddie from the 50s. I think it’s beautiful.
I love how her Oscar dress brings out her brother’s eyes.
Here is my reaction, from head down:
Hair’s pretty boring.
That shade of lipstick should be banned.
Her earrings are very pretty, though.
Her skin looks amazing.
WTF WHY IS SHE IN A $2 TIKI-SHOP SARONG??
I would be fine with her Oscars dress if it didn’t look like the neckline was slowly falling off her left side. Does it look that way to anyone else? Or was tat just the way she was standing?
The Oscars dress, whilst looking like an actual homage to Hawk Eye Pearce and the halcyon days of MASH, is a fresh, brave statement and it worked. Good for her. God her brother is hot!
Her Oscar-dress was abfab! I don’t know why people dislike it! It’s by Dries Van Noten and everything about it is so beautifully created. It’s a creme-coloured silk fabric with flowers printed on it and at the end he just attacked it with a blue paintbrush! How creative and perfect can you be? People who don’t see the fact that Van Noten is like the emperor of prints just don’t know what they’re talking about .. sad *
I have to say that the Spirit Awards dress looked much better on TV then it does in those photos. The colour of the dress contrasted with the black tights more. I HATE that her left boob is in danger of falling out, but if there had been just a bit more material there this woould be a win.
Shouldn’t she get extra points for finally learning to stand up straight???
I loved her Oscar dress. And her make-up and hair looked good. And Peter was charming and a tad snarky/threatening, as he should be. She seemed really happy and in the moment, which always improves an overall look.
I must say I don’t like Maggie’s style in general. This blue dress could be nice if it was in different colour and not so aggressive. The black outfit is nice but it somehow doesn’t fit her, maybe it’s too big.
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