Oscar Post-Party Well-Played Carpet: Kelly Osbourne

Let’s ignore the hair, because although it looks like Carol Channing dunked herself in a vat of grape juice, Kelly Osbourne almost never has rational hair and that’s kind of her shtick at this point. At least it SUITS her, in a bizarre way. 

And what a gorgeous dress. It’s absolutely perfect on her. My one tiny wee beef is that from some angles — like this one — the fabric bridge between her boobs looks like she left on the wrong strapless bra. Maybe she did. Maybe that’s why THIS happened:

It’s Johnny Weir, Brassiere Hero, the salvation of errant lingerie worldwide! This is ANOTHER Oscars-generated pairing that I would like to see get a buddy hour on TV (the other being Victoria Beckham and Betty White). I don’t demand that it involve Johnny flitting around the globe rescuing people from their own undergarments, but you know, whatever he wants. Whatever makes it happen. MAKE IT HAPPEN.