Padma Fugshmi

Okay, from the neck up Padma appears to have dashed over to the White House Correspondents’ dinner straight from Pilates.

But from the neck down, my first instinct was to say that the dress is rather pretty. But then something started to bug me — an insidious little suspicion that nibbled at me the way Spencer and Heidi chew on our souls: unwelcome, persistent, nagging. So I kept looking. And looking. And suddenly I realized exactly what was bothering me, and that it was — as I feared — not 100 percent safe for work or curious children (something which, incidentally, is ALSO true of Spencer and Heidi).

[Photo: Splash News]

Padma. PADMA. What are you doing? That’s not a dress — it’s practically maroon body paint. Which is great for when you’re in private, but at a dinner full of journalists and political muckety-mucks… well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if this party had lasted an extra twelve hours because none of the dudes wanted to pack their knives and go.