Patricia Fugquette

I don’t think there was a Wild West theme at this Mercedes-Benz event in honor of diabetes research:

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

Unless these two were going for a massive visual metaphor — “The insane world of diabetes research is like the Wild West. Anything goes!”

You can just see her swinging those hips through a saloon door and heading behind the bar, huffing a cleansing fog of breath onto a moonshine glass and wiping it idly while the boys busy themselves playing poker. And then Alfred Molina lays down aces, so Tim McGraw pulls his six-shooter and upturns the table while Thomas Jane scoops up Ms. A and carries her to safety over his shoulder and onto the back of his trusty steed.

And, with luck, straight into a Barney’s after a quick stop at the barber shop. For the love of God, man, the beard didn’t work when it ate Kilmer’s face, so stop it from swallowing your own.